The performers and the big stage called The world

SUBRA - I

2007-09-18T22:48:00.000+05:30

K Patti to Madras!

Everything was set. The bags were packed and were already being shifted from the home to the bus stand. The house itself was very busy – we were the first family to leave Kaavalkaaranpatti that year, after nearly 2 months of summer holidays.

Amma and Appa were doing the last minute checkings and were in the process of bidding good byes to Aunts and Uncles. My cousins and a few friends were there around me, trying to console me. I was on the verge of crying… offering my prayers to all the gods I knew, requesting them to somehow extend my stay in K.Patti (as Kaavalkaaranpatti is shortly called). I even tried acting as if I had a severe stomach ache - hoping that it will somehow help me stay here for some more time. I was desperate. But no one (or nothing) seemed to help me, even the gods - everyone was trying to console me and telling me to take it easy. I was not convinced….I somehow felt very un-comfortable, as I always did on the last day at K.Patti. This happened year after year - the last day in K.Patti was tough…leaving behind all the fun and returning to school and the routine wasn’t that easy for me.

“Okay Subra. Pick up your bag. Its time, the bus will arrive in 5 minutes time. Say good bye to everyone. Get paati’s blessings. And for god’s sake do not cry…”

Tears ran down my cheek as my mother was going to complete the sentence. I knew it – I have no other choice, not anymore. I went to paati and looked at her – stood there word-less, she knelt down, hugged me tight, gave me a ten rupee note and put some sacred ash on my forehead.

“Write letters Subramani. Don’t forget your paati. And don’t feel bad. You are visiting Madras for the first time – believe me it will be a beautiful experience…you will enjoy it. So look forward to it….Come back next year. I’ll also visit you in the mean time, if possible – do not cry please…”

“Subra, don’t cry. Comeon…”

Suddenly everyone around started to console me as tears started to pour out of my eyes....the more they did the more I cried. I wasnt able to control myself.....I did not want to leave K. Patti......my uncles and aunts tried their best to stop me from crying....they tried that by even offering big chocolates and stuff.....but I was unstoppable!!

That was when I felt a strong hand on my shoulder. My father's hand. I looked up at him – ‘Enough Subra. Start now, I mean, right now' was what his face expressed - he did not utter a word, but I understood it all.....I read my father's expressions very well......

Without any further effort, I picked my little yellow bag and started to walk towards the bus stand and did not talk to anyone until we – my dad, mom and me – got into that pale yellow bus to go to the nearby town’s bus stand to take a bus to MADRAS.

I waved K.Patti, the last good bye for the year. As the bus moved forward, my mind moved behind reminding me of those beautiful days spent here – with absolute freedom and happiness. Everything I saw reminded me of K.Patti and the days spent there…I had no control of my mind and was looking at the darkness outside the bus as the fresh air from outside the window hit me on my face….

This bus to Madras was no different. It was pale and un-inviting. It made all the possible noises in the world – it was really very noisy inside the bus...! And as usual, I was looking out of the window, into the darkness, and was thinking of what I was doing the same time last night, same time the night before that, a week before, a month before…..two months seemed very long a time….

The bus was dimly lit as it was night and everyone else was sleeping including my dad and mom….I was wondering how come they were able to sleep in between all this noise that this bus was making…..the noise was terrible and unbearable for me….the creaking noise of the bus as it was moving….the noise that the engine of the bus was making…..the noise generated due to the vibration of the glass windows of the bus…. somehow, the noise was terribly disturbing the already disturbed me….

But eventually, I slept. And when I woke up – the bus was still moving and making all sorts of noises, but, the picture outside the window had changed. The morning breeze was fresh and it was a little brighter outside…..the freshness that the air brought with it made me a little light. I was looking at the changing pictures outside the window of the bus – mostly trees and mountain like rocks - and it was interesting. The bus, in the mean time, had become busy – the co-passengers were starting to check the luggage and stuff and so did my dad, a few people were already at the door, probably waiting for their stop. I understood we were nearing Madras.

The very thought of going to Madras brought a little shiver in me.

‘I am going to be in Madras, going to be part of this huge city, going to see L.I.C building…’ - my anticipation grew…

I thought of the previous town I was in, for a moment....the life there…..the friends whom I had left behind…everything seemed to have happened all of a sudden...I hadnt even informed them that I will never return back after the summer holidays....I did not know then that one day my father will walk in and announce that we are going to Madras this time around and not to Madurai...

How many times have we, my friends and I, talked about Madras....how many times.... and visiting it atleast once was one of our life-time goals!! But today I am going to be there…from now on, I am going to go to a school in madras...my mind was wandering.....

And finally we were there, at a huge bus stand. I had never seen any bus stand as big as this, before. It was very busy. I was astonished to see something as big and new as this. The number of faces I saw, the number of buses, the number of shops, autos, taxis……that was when I really felt – I was in Madras!!!

We took an auto and had to literally squeeze the luggage and ourselves into it. I was in between mom and dad and due to the luggage, I wasn’t able to do what I love doing – watching the world from a moving vehicle!!! When the auto stopped, we were in front of a relatively old two storey building located in a pretty busy street. It was a pale white building.....and our house was in the second floor of that building – the house was smaller than our previous one. My dad had already set up the house with the help of a few friends when we were in K.Patti. It felt very different – not very good, not very bad.

My mom was taking a closer look and was examining the house.... my dad was explaining to her about all the stuff she needs to be careful about....being in Madras....and also other details like the location of the shops and stuff.....

As always, I was looking out of the window to try and see if there was anything interesting out there – there was a house, I wasn’t able to see it clearly, just got a rough picture – but I was able to hear the voices clearly. A woman was bargaining to a fruit-seller for two rupees that moment....

Our house had just a small hall, a small room, a small kitchen, a bathroom and a toilet - nothing more, nothing less. My mom and dad were having some serious discussion which I was in no position to understand. I was busy thinking of what I was doing the same time yesterday, same time the day before that, a week before, a month before….

My dad’s friend Anbu uncle was the first person to visit us here. It was he who had helped my dad in setting this house up when we were at K.Patti. It was he who had got me a seat in a school here, which is supposed to be one of the better schools around....I guess, it was he who recommended my dad this job, here in Madras, which eventually was the reason for our shift to Madras.

The first day went off fine and so did the next. Nothing much happened – Mom and dad were busy changing things from one place to the other and back to another – I was helping them, by not disturbing them in what they were doing. I was watching them work when I had the time to think of the present – otherwise, I was literally living my past – the days in K.Patti.

A few strangers also visited the place, offered us help, most of which my dad refused to accept with a smile in his face. The strangers that day became our neighbors, sooner than I thought – mom started liking the place and she seemed pretty happy about everything here - the place, house and the neighbors. There was only one guy of my age in our 'pale-white' building which had six small houses. That boy lived in the ground floor flat and he never seemed to open his mouth - so I never got an opportunity to get to know his name in the first couple of days. He was in grade six, an year younger to me and wasn't part of the school I was about to join - I was pretty happy about that - I somehow, did not like him very much. He seemed to be always busy with a rubber ball, that he owned, either pitching it in the ground and allowing it to raise or throwing it on the walls and trying to catch it....eitherway, he was always behind the ball....running to catch it, as catching the ball was something he wasn't good at!!

Everything was set by Tuesday evening – two days of hard work – and the place we were in became our house. The next morning was a big day for me. My first day in “Gurukulam” - my new school!!!! For some strange reason, I wasn't put in school for the first two days, though the school was already open and the classes were going on!!

I hadn’t visited the school before that, but was given admission as Anbu uncle knew the principal personally and had given assurance that I will perform very well in school. I tried my brand new school uniform again – blue trouser and a white shirt – it felt good, being in a school uniform.

That night I did not sleep well…I was thinking about how it was all going to be in a new place, a new school and a lot of new people around – probably a few friends too. I wished I went to that school in Kaavalkaaranpatti or atleast the previous school I was in, where I had a lot of friends and where I had a lot of fun too. The very thought of this new school somehow made me very uncomfortable…….I was very afraid…..

Eventually, night gave way to morning. And in no time, I was getting down the stairs with my new uniform on and a rough notebook in my hand and a lunch pack, waving good-bye to mom. Appa had borrowed Anbu uncle’s scooter….and the first ride in the roads of Madras sitting behind my dad in that scooter, which should have been wonderful, wasn’t really cool as my mind was still afraid of being in Gurukulam…It was then I realized how much I was used to the old school I was in and how much I missed it, though we, friends, always cribbed about it being too small and the teachers being rude and all….

As the scooter entered the big compound, my heart started pounding….I wanted to run back – but had no choice…there was a green gate inside the huge compound and near the gate was a big board which read - “GURUKULAM”, affiliated to Central board of Secondary Education.

SUBRA - II

2007-09-18T22:47:00.000+05:30

VII 'C', GURUKULAM

The school was very big compared to my old school and was pretty busy too. My father and I were waiting infront of the principal's room and as soon as my principal arrived, I was asked to leave to my class room, right away.

I waved good-bye to my dad and walked alongside a stranger, Pandurangan, the school peon, who was assigned the task of showing me my class room - VII Standard C section.

Pandurangan asked me something - in a strange language. It took me sometime to actually identify the language he was using – it was in fact Tamil, but the slang he used was completely different that I did not understand a word.I made him repeat the question a number of times (as I did not understand what he was talking) that he stopped asking the question and did not expect me to answer too. The rest of our journey, from the office room to my class room, was silent.

My class room too was in the second floor (as my house) and there were a number of class rooms in the same floor. I looked curiously into each class, through the open doors and the windows, as we walked along the long corridor. And finally Pandurangan halted near the entrance of a class room – I stood beside him. He told the teacher something, which again, I did not understand. The teacher looked at me, with a smile and asked me to come in.

I entered the class room and turned back to thank Pandurangan, but he wasn’t there – he had already left. I stood near the entrance without knowing which side to go. The teacher showed me a direction and a few guys made some adjustments and gave me a seat to sit. The whole class was waiting for me to settle down – I sat down, kept my lunch pack below the table and put the rough note book, which I was carrying with me, on the desk and looked up at the teacher – the whole class, including the teacher, was still waiting for me…

‘Comfortable?!’ the teacher asked me as soon as I saw her

‘Yes ma’m’

‘Nice. What’s your name?!’

‘S. Subramanian ma’m’ I got up to answer her…

‘Good. Where do you come from?’

‘Madurai ma’m’

After the routine introduction was over, she asked me to sit down and continued with the lesson…I tried to concentrate on what she was teaching – All I could think of, at that moment, was this - She was sweet, Motherly – I felt instantly comfortable with the way she treated the class!!

As soon as the class was over – the whole class’ attention was on me – or so did I think. I looked around and a number of guys were curiously looking at me. I was a little intimidated and sat there without uttering a word....

Thank You!

2007-07-12T21:44:00.000+05:30

When I look back today....I see...
A lot of people who love me and care for me...
A lot of incidents which make me feel happy and light...
A lot of places places I would like to get back to...
Quite a few lessons that I'll never forget...
Quite a few moments that make me cry...
A lot of dreams that keep me alive...
A lot of thoughts that make me proud...
A lot of characters that I gave birth to...
A lot of characters that I've always enjoyed watching...
A lot of fears that haunted me time and again...
Quite a few wrong decisions...
A number of beautiful mornings and evenings...
My cameras and a lot of photographs...
A lot of cricket matches (the ones I was part of and the ones I watched)...
My schools, college, tuitions...
My cycle, motorbike, car...
A lot of unfinished projects...
A lot of plans yet to be executed...
A lot of fun and laughter...
A few memorable journeys...
A lot of....

oh yeah, I've been alive for the past twenty five years!!!!
Thanks people....for being a part of the journey at some point or other....Thank you.

Change....is the only constant!

2007-06-29T15:12:00.000+05:30

"It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent that survives. It is the one that is the most adaptable to change"

~Charles Darwin.

CHENNAI - 600028 (2007)

2007-06-19T11:08:00.000+05:30

First of all - Kudos to the team for their sincere effort - Fantastic attempt!!

I enjoyed the movie, thoroughly!! Not the 'classic' types, but simply, a peek into the lives of a few youngsters - the members of 'Sharks', a gully cricket team from R.A.Puram (a part of chennai and thus the title, Chennai - 600028). I loved the simplicity associated with the movie - the presentation was stunningly natural....

The movie has no hero or a heroin - the plot is the hero, I would say. The actors have performed really well - it was like seeing your friends live their life, on screen! (That was what I felt, being in chennai for the past 15 years and seeing the lives of people depicted in the film, in reality).

Yuvan shankar Raja does a wonderful job. I never was able to think of Editing or inematography or Art direction...when I was watching the film, which itself is the success of the technicians - really natural! The cinematography pattern was more like a normal video - and most of it was shot in the night and the lack of sharpness gives a more real feel to the movie (reminded
me of a few South Americal films).

This is not a review and I did not want to write anything like a 'film-review'. I am penning down my personal thoughts about this film here as I enjoyed watching it. If you live or lived in chennai and if you have seen youngsters playing cricket in the road and in the small grounds....and if you wanna know a little about their life - probably watch the movie - you will enjoy it. Even otherwise, you'll enjoy...but if you are associated with any of the above - dont miss it - the proability of you not liking it will be very low....

Overall, I feel, this movie represents a part of Chennai. It gives you an idea of the lives of people (a set of middle-class youngsters, in this case), which in itself is a great acheivement.

Simply put - I liked the movie very much. And I was really very happy when I walked out of the theatre last saturday night after watching the movie. The movie was fun and very very lightly told! I am sure, I am gonna watch it again.

:)

College days....fading images....fresh memories...

2007-05-30T11:06:00.000+05:30

the untold stories....

2007-05-19T20:40:00.000+05:30

My saturday evenings weren't generally spent at home! But today, I did not feel like moving out and did not make any effort to do so...Just spoke with a couple of friends over the phone and thought of watching some movie - ofcourse from my 'classics' DVD collection - thought of watching something from Akira Kurosawa...and thats when something struck. Why not continue reading his auto-biography (I had already read nearly 75 percent of it).

Thought seemed okay and I Picked it up and instead of continuing from where I had stopped, thought of browsing the initial pages randomly!!! I was very happy about this 'Random browsing' idea....just started to read a couple of pages (incidents) and then moved to some other period of his life and then to some other...it was very good that way!!!

It was then I crossed the place where he talked about his elder brother. Even when I read it for the first time, I was very much influenced by this part. It's Akira's brother who introduced 'foreign cinema' to him and it was he who suggested good movies for Akira to watch. And his brother read a lot of literature and also had a lot of creative talent. He went on to become a successful narrator (silent films age)....and Akira recollects that had he lived longer, probably he would have become a very good film-maker!! But he did not live long...

Its not about this one person...in general, in every auto-biography we come across a lot of characters other than the person who narrates his(her) life....but have we ever thought, in detail, about that character which forms just a very small part of the auto-biography?! That character itself is a human being and that human-being would have had an equally happening life and (s)he would have had a thousand stories to share....but those stories never come to light...they just dis-appear.....

I all of a sudden closed the book and started to think of Akira's brother - with the very little detail that Akira had given about his brother! He would have had his own version of incidents that Akira is now narrating....he would have wanted to share a lot of things....lot of stories....but those stories went un-told...un-heard!!!

Strangely, R.K.Narayan's life had a similar story. RKN's brother was very very well-read and it was he who introduced literature to RKN. And RKN mentions about his uncle, whom he lived with when he was in his grand-mother's house as a kid, as an amatuer photographer! The uncle was in college then....who spent most of his time photographing, developing them, reading and writing. He was also part of his college drama troop and explained to him Shakespear's dramas and stuff....this character would have had a thousand dreams....a thousand stories....which we'll never get to read...probably Akira's brother was equally talented as Akira, if not more,...RKN's brother and uncle too....but we know only Akira Kurosawa and R.K.Narayan.....

I've always thought about this....every human being has dreams...every human being has untold stories....and those stories go un-told.....un-heard...forever.....
we live in a world which celebrates success....failures and average people arent looked upon...unfortunately the number of failure stories are far more than the success stories and the efforts that failed never come out to light....the effort afterall would have been the same...the passion would have been the same....but it's the result that ultimately matters, they say!

So, with this post, what did I want to write?!!

Probably something like this, I am not sure....

Every human being has equal number of stories and experiences worth sharing....unfortunately most go unshared....probably if we show more interest in observing people...a few stories might unfold... and this world, that we live in, belongs to successful people and I somehow beleive un-sucessful people or the failures have more stories to share.........very unfortunate they dont have anyone to share them with - not even fellow failures....probably if they have someone to listen to their stories...they would feel a little better....but they can't complain - can they?!

And people - start writing diary (if u arent writing already thatis) - let the world know the 'real you' atleast through that, when we dont belong to this place any more.......if not the world, atleast the close ones....our life is worth sharing - isn't it?!

...

2007-05-15T09:40:00.000+05:30

Kanneer illamal....Valigal illamal....varalaru illai....vaazhkai illai...

THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION!!!!!

2007-05-13T12:58:00.000+05:30

Get busy living, or get busy dying.

The first night's the toughest, no doubt about it. They march you in naked as the day you were born, skin burning and half blind from that delousing shit they throw on you, and when they put you in that cell... and those bars slam home... that's when you know it's for real. A whole life blown away in the blink of an eye. Nothing left but all the time in the world to think about it.

These walls are funny. First you hate them then you get used to them. Enough time passes, you get so you depend on them. That's institutionalized

Forget that... there are places in this world that aren't made out of stone. That there's something inside... that they can't get to, that they can't touch. That's yours.

What're you talking about?

Hope

Let me tell you something my friend. Hope is a dangerous thing. Hope can drive a man insane

Remember Red, hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies

I find I'm so excited, I can barely sit still or hold a thought in my head. I think it's the excitement only a free man can feel, a free man at the start of a long journey whose conclusion is uncertain. I hope I can make it across the border. I hope to see my friend, and shake his hand. I hope the Pacific is as blue as it has been in my dreams. I hope

I have to remind myself that some birds aren't meant to be caged. Their feathers are just too bright. And when they fly away, the part of you that knows it was a sin to lock them up DOES rejoice. Still, the place you live in is that much more drab and empty that they're gone. I guess I just miss my friend.

She was beautiful. God I loved her. I just didn't know how to show it, that's all. I killed her, Red. I didn't pull the trigger, but I drove her away. And that's why she died, because of me.

I was in the path of the tornado... I just didn't expect the storm would last as long as it has

Get busy living, or get busy dying!!!!

uravugal palavitham....

2007-05-08T18:22:00.000+05:30

Change is the only constant!

2007-05-08T15:31:00.000+05:30

Farewell PRINCE (of port of spain)!!

2007-04-24T20:50:00.000+05:30

Brian Charles Lara. The name says it all - doesn't it!

Dont want to talk much....this post is just to bid Brian Charles Lara good bye from International cricket!!! Good Bye Lara. Farewell, we'll miss u!!!!

For more info on Lara - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brian_Lara

Say NO to Violence, Spread PEACE!!!

2007-04-20T16:06:00.000+05:30

Say 'NO' to violence. Spread Peace.

Let us pray for all those who lost their lives in VT shoot out. Let their soul rest in peace. And let their families get the courage to live without their loved ones.

Hating 'Cho Seung-Hui' isnt going to lead us anywhere, but analysing why such cruel acts take place might. Let us think of the root-cause of the problem and take oath to do whatever possible from our side to avoid such incidents from happening, sincerely.

The first thing will be to love fellow human beings....tolerance is the key.

And let us take oath that we'll say NO to Violence and think for a moment of what led to such an incident and what can be done to avoid such things to happen again.

There is no universal solution. It is up to us, human beings, to be more rational and thoughtful. Let us understand why we are here and celebrate life not the opposite! Let us think.

Say 'NO' to violence. Spread Peace.

BACK HERE! Sorry about the delay!!!!

2007-04-18T10:42:00.000+05:30

I apologize for this long delay! It has been nearly 6 months since the last post!!! And this post is just to let you know that I am back here - if at all anyone is reading this, thatis..hehe!!!!

A lot to talk, a lot to share - am sure will be posting here more regularly! Do check back soon. And do comment.

Thanks.

difference...

2006-10-11T12:30:00.001+05:30

idleness....

2006-10-11T12:28:00.000+05:30

Street Cricket....

2006-10-07T19:01:00.000+05:30

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Street_cricket

Reminds me of the 15 years I spent playing this game, this way.....a part of almost all the Indian kids....down the memory lane....there is so much associated with this....

Orkut seems to b correct sometimes....

2006-10-05T15:09:00.000+05:30

Today's Fortune:

Stop searching forever, Happiness is just next to you

I turned around and my camera was just next to me! :D

Gateway to the world......one of my old modems....

2006-10-05T14:49:00.000+05:30

waiting to be hooked!

2006-10-05T09:41:00.000+05:30

The 'Cell phone' Kid!

2006-10-04T23:10:00.000+05:30

'Quotes' - Jean Renoir (Film maker)

2006-09-30T16:46:00.000+05:30

'Many of my friends have urged me to write my autobiography...it is no longer enough for them to know that an artist has freely expressed himself with the help of a camera and a microphone. They want to know who the artist is...'

'The truth is that this individual of whom we are so proud is composed of such diverse elements as a boy he made friends with at nursery school, the hero of the first tale he ever read, even the dog belonging to his cousin Eugene. We do not exist through ourselves alone but through the environment that shaped us...I have sought to recall those persons and events which I believe have played a part in making me what I am'

-Jean Renoir (Film Maker) in his Autobiography.

Light House...just like that...

2006-09-30T14:35:00.000+05:30

all alone....

2006-09-29T19:02:00.000+05:30

Vandhargal Vendrargal....

2006-09-28T14:12:00.000+05:30

PS. Paintings photographed from the book 'Vandhargal Vendrargal'

:)

2006-09-27T23:50:00.000+05:30

just like that...

2006-09-26T12:26:00.000+05:30

"Everyone has got Secrets, Life would be BORING without them"

Read this in someones profile in Orkut....thought it was interesting!

Summer of '69

2006-09-26T08:07:00.000+05:30

I got my first real six-string
Bought it at the five-and-dime
Played it til my fingers bled
It was the summer of '69

Me and some guys from school
Had a band and we tried real hard
Jimmy quit and Jody got married
I shoulda known we'd never get far

Oh when I look back now
That summer seemed to last forever
And if I had the choice
Ya - I'd always wanna be there
Those were the best days of my life

Ain't no use in complainin'
When you got a job to do
Spent my evenin's down at the drive-in
And that's when I met you

Standin' on your Mama's porch
You told me that you'd wait forever
Oh and when you held my hand
I knew that it was now or never
Those were the best days of my life
Back in the summer of '69

Man we were killin' time
We were young and restless
We needed to unwind
I guess nothin' can last forever - forever, no

And now the times are changin'
Look at everything that's come and gone
Sometimes when I play that old six-string
I think about ya wonder what went wrong

when I looked around...

2006-09-24T19:37:00.000+05:30

they wanted me to capture them...

2006-09-24T19:34:00.000+05:30

.......

2006-09-24T19:13:00.000+05:30

Warning!

2006-09-24T19:11:00.000+05:30

yet another crazy experiment!!

2006-09-24T19:09:00.000+05:30

My companion...

2006-09-24T19:05:00.000+05:30

Life still goes on....

2006-09-24T15:40:00.000+05:30

Dil Chahta Hai???

2006-09-24T15:35:00.000+05:30

Trying to capture a scene!

2006-09-24T15:31:00.000+05:30

one of the five rathas...

2006-09-24T14:47:00.000+05:30

A b&w tribute to the shore temple at Mahabalipuram...

2006-09-24T14:39:00.000+05:30

just an experiment.

2006-09-23T00:18:00.000+05:30

My Quote :D

2006-09-19T15:51:00.000+05:30

One needn't be a Fool, to be Foolish......at times!

The Punch

2006-09-12T22:37:00.000+05:30

Hanging for DEAR Life

2006-09-09T16:20:00.000+05:30

Rebirth of my Love.....for HISTORY!

2006-09-07T17:03:00.000+05:30

A few more images from kanyakumari...

2006-09-05T19:09:00.000+05:30

Souvenir from Kanyakumari...made out of a coconut !!!

2006-09-05T19:06:00.000+05:30

My first attempt at Fiction......

2006-08-23T18:34:00.000+05:30

Life Goes on….

It was 6.30 in the morning and the sun was already powerful, throwing streaks of light through the window and on to Karthik's bed. But that did not disturb Karthik much, who was still comfortably sleeping. But, not for long. The sudden ring from the mobile phone saw him wake up - rather slowly. 'Who the hell is calling at this hour', he spoke to himself - slowly, picked up the mobile and saw the display - 'Unknown Number' it read. He was puzzled...who'll it be - the client...any problem at their end...but they usually don’t call at this hour....or is it Ramesh...Praveen….Abishek....a lot of names crossed his mind in that fraction of a second before he actually pressed the 'Talk' button.

"Hello" his voice wasn't very clear as he was still half asleep.

There was no answer from the other side.

He cleared his throat and this time was load and clear - "Hello...”

"Karthik??"

He never expected a female voice from the other end.....

"Yeah...”

"Hey Dude, How are you doing"

“I...I.... am fine, May I know who's this?? " his mind was trying to guess....but wasn't able to bring out even a single name.....there was no way, Priya is going to call from an unknown number and that too at this hour.

A call from a girl is quite a rare incident for Karthik. He was a very reserved character right from his school days. And more so in college. He actually was a very energetic person from inside, but more an introvert. He did a lot of things, but alone. He was a very innovative person and was mostly harmless. The only places he was found in college, when not in class were the Labs, Library and at the maximum, Sports room, playing Table Tennis....not even college canteen!! He continued to be the same way even in office - a 'no-nonsense' guy! He was never a part of any of those spicy debates in office of who's going out with whom or who's going to get married next or who's broken up with whom. He was happy being silent rather than participating in these discussions. He sometimes even wondered why these guys were SO STUPID...but then, he never cared much, he thought it was not his job to correct people around...and always had his trade-mark smile in his face when ever he crossed anyone in the office....anyone...be it the manager or even the peon...

"Great to catch you up over the phone man. I am sure, you wouldn't have expected my call, but just thought of calling you up - wanna throw a guess"

She hadn't told her name as yet. 'What the heck, someone calling up from an unknown country and asking to guess the name...and that too at this hour'
......Priya...Kalpana....Mary...who'll it be and why would any of these call me??? anything important...the way she talks doesn't suggest anything important.....his mind was restless actually.....

"Nope. Would be very nice if you can DECLARE your name now" - he thought he was flat, actually he wasn't

"Hey what da…- I would have loved to have heard some weird name. Okay, this is Shruthi - able to get my image?? Do u remember me??"

That was a Shock for him. Shruthi.....his mind traveled back...it's been nearly a decade....

"Hey Shruthi.....Shruthi from St.Michael's eh??"

"Yeah...man, that’s good, you atleast remember me"

"Oohh my god, what a surprise!!, how can I ever forget you Shruthi"

He meant it...How can he ever forget her....he was literally shocked. His heart started working fast - is this called the adrenaline rush??

"Hmmm how are you da - long time....was wondering if I would ever meet you people again....??"

"Hey Shruthi, I am doing great, How are you?? Never expected a call from you...how did you get my number" He did not wait for answers, but just kept talking.

Shruthi and Karthik were class mates, partners in crime right from their KG's . They had fantastic times together. Actually both of them lived in a same colony like set-up, till Shruti's family moved to Singapore as her father had got a transfer from his company, when Shruthi had just finished class 10. They never met after that. Not even phone calls or mails - the last they spoke to each other was the final day of their class 10 board exams.

"I am doing great too da. Completed my masters in Information Science and working for a company here in New Jersey - how are uncle and aunty??"

Karthik still wasn't able to believe that he was talking to his school mate whom he had lost touch with, almost a decade back......

"They are doing fine too..." He spoke rather automatically, as his mind was fixed to the old days...he did not know what he was talking......but was answering her....

He suddenly realised that and came back to the real world - "Hey how did you get my number??" he repeated the question which she hadn't answered before.

"If you can't guess even this, I can't do anything!" she giggled - “Guess!!”

She was sarcastic to an extent - this was the way she had always been - bubbly and crispy. She answered questions by counter questions but almost always logical ones. 'She hadn't changed a bit' he thought to himself....

"Orkut??"

"Aahh there you go - you know it!" She was talking as if she was in touch with him all these days or rather she was acting that way.

"Hmmmm" he did not know what to talk.

"Are you also in Orkut, I never knew that" .... Again this was not what he was intending to talk...but he spoke from his mouth and not from his mind (which was busy thinking of the past, unconsciously)...

"Just joined today....and searched for you name and got the whole history" she continued fluently. She was happy and it showed.

"How can you be so open man in an open to public forum. You have given every tiny information of you and with your phone number and address....how can you do that da....I can't even imagine me doing that"

Karthik was so much occupied in thought that he actually wasn't listening to her...

"I am sorry, what did you say, the phone line is not clear...."

"Nothing important. I feel so happy da.....technology is doing wonders."

"Yeah" he replied...

Shruthi and Karthik had a very special relationship. As kids, they fought a lot, obviously Shruthi won most of them. Karthik had an edge when it came to studies and being a 'good kid'. Both of them were popular in their own ways in school. Shruti grew up to be a beautiful little girl that most of the guys in school were behind her and were jealous of Karthik, as he always had a chance of being very close to her.

"Why are you very silent Karthik, you don’t seem to have changed much, but you have grown up da, had me guessing if I was seeing the right person when I was going through your album at Orkut"

"Yeah, it’s been a decade yaar. I am sure you'll look a lot different too"
"Yeah, you are right”

"How are your mom and dad??"

"They are fine. Spoke to mom just after seeing your profile. She was very happy, I told her that I've got your contact number and am going to call you - the first person who had the guts to give me a love letter”, she laughed…

Karthik did not know what to say.

"Hmmmm"

He did not expect her to start with this topic now. It happened when they were in class ten. From class seven or eight, the distance between them actually increased, they weren't as close as they were before...they thought they had grown up and thought grown up guy and a girl are not supposed to be this close. It was this distance that made Karthik feel closer to her. When looked from outside, Shruthi looked like an angel to him and behaved that way too. Karthik started admiring her.....

Just a few months before tenth exams, karthik decided to express his LOVE to her. The feeling that he had nurtured for nearly two years now. His decision was purely because he was completely disturbed....he wasn't able to identify why, but of late he started to lose concentration on other things and she mattered more to him.
He started dreaming about his married life - filmi style. For the first time he slipped a bit and did not perform up to his standards in the revision tests. Shruthi did not realise that it was because of her and she herself went to him and enquired about what happened to him - Karthik not doing well in the exam became the hot topic in the class. He was completely clueless himself. He was worried.....

It was a rainy evening and the whole school was enjoying the rain. The last hour was History and the history teacher was talking about the Second World War and stuff. Karthik was dreaming. He had decided to open the topic with Shruthi today. He even had a letter written. He was silently watching the school play ground getting drenched by the rain from his place...in spite of teacher teaching about Hitler and the Second World War - this wasn't normal. The bell rang and suddenly with a loud noise of cheer the corridors were filled with students eagerly leaving to their home......The rain had just stopped...and the climate was perfect and the slight drizzling topped it of.

"Karthik, what happened, dreaming eh??"

Shruthi interrupted the thought flow of Karthik. He just realised that they were the only ones left in the class.

"Shruthi, I need to talk to you" he saw straight into her eyes. He was determined.

"Oh...sure. What's the matter, anything important?“ She sat over the desk next to him

He looked up at her - "Shruti, I love you, would like to marry you when we grow up, will you be there for me?"

She was shocked. She knew this was going to come some day, but she did not expect this so soon and definitely not this plain and flat. He opened his bag, took out the letter that he had drafted for her and handed it over to her.

"I've written all that I wanted to talk, in this. I want you to read this, think and reply"

She silently took that letter in hand and read that. It was a very plain letter - there was nothing poetic in that.

She was confused. She took her bag and walked out, he followed her. They did not talk a word.

The climate was soothing. They were walking next to each other, rolling their cycle instead of riding it. They did not talk a word till they reached their respective houses.

Shruthi liked karthik very much, but she was not for this proposal, she did not know what will happen next. She was afraid of her father and her relatives and she was more analytical in this issue than emotional. She did not know what to do....what to tell this guy next door, who was always there for her.....and only now she understood the reason for Karthik not performing well in the exams. She did not realize that she was crying now.....tears ran down her cheek....

"You know karthik, my mom was also very happy for you. She said, she knew you would do excellently well in your life and to see you in such a good position so early in life...she was as excited as me"

Karthik's mind was oscillating between the past and present. "Oohh...Thank you.” He just realised that and came back to the present.

“So Orkut has given every detail of me - never thought of this before, maybe I'll need to take out a few information from that...." He tried his maximum to present himself as if he was normal.....

"I am coming down to chennai in the first week of next month. Make sure you are present..."

“…………………….”

Karthik was eagerly waiting for a response from Shruthi. He was pretty early to school and was waiting for Shruthi's arrival...but she did not turn up. He was pretty sure till this time that she will accept him for what he was and he knew she loved him too. But now, his mind started wavering.....he did not know the reason behind her not coming to school....he became nervous and left the school during the lunch break saying he wasn't feeling well. He told his mother that he was not feeling well and went to bed. He wasn't able to sleep....his mind started to think of all the possibilities....but he wasn't sure of anything...will she reject me....his heart started pounding....he became restless...buried himself into the pillow and started crying.....he cried till the layers of his pillow became wet. There was no reason for him to cry but he felt like crying and crying did relieve his pain....he suddenly got up as if he had found out the solution and watched at the clock...it
was 4.15....he got up and washed his face, changed his clothes....he became brisk all of a sudden.

Karthik was waiting for the door to be opened - seconds felt like days...he was about to press the calling bell again when the door opened...

“Aunty is Shruthi here?” he enquired rather anxiously.

“Hello Karthik, How are you....come in...come in“ Shruthi’s mother welcomed him.

"Sit down, are you early from school today, its only 4.30"

"Yes Aunty, wasn't feeling well, also there was nothing much in school today."

"By the way, why didn’t Shruthi come to school today, is everything okay?"

"Yes. She wasn't feeling well in the morning, now she is okay. She is in her room....you may go and see her" she looked towards the room and waited for him to leave to the room.

"I know Shruthi, people around me are really good and I am one lucky chap except for a few things in life.....convey my regards to her" Karthik remembered her mother…she was a nice and a caring woman….

"Sure da. Its long time man....it all looks like it just happened a few days back...but already its nearly 10 years...10 long years....."

Karthik knocked at the door lightly and entered the room. There she was, sitting in her study desk and looking at the trees outside, through her window.

"Hi" she said in a low voice. "When did you come - didn’t you also go to school today??" she enquired.

"I did, but came back during the lunch break" He answered her but was looking for something else....

"Why didn’t you come to school today? I was expecting you...."

"................................."

"Have you thought of what I was talking about yesterday??"

"Yes, I did"

"Have you decided....." Karthik looked calm and composed but was more nervous than for his exams....

"......................."

"Shruthi...don’t you also...."

Shruthi was quick to interrupt...."I like you very much Karthik, I like you very much"

"........................does that mean..."

"It doesn't mean anything Karthik….”

“Aren't we too young to fall in love..."

Karthik was literally upset. He was expecting her to say just 3 words, but to see her saying something else....he was worried....

"Do you think we are too young? Its just 2 years in school and soon we'll be in college and then work....."

"....why cant we be together...I mean…..."

"There are so many things to be thought of, Karthik. See, I am worried about you. I want you do well in your studies….you not doing well in the test really disturbed me – I mean it....and I feel I am I am responsible for that....I don’t want to see my friend going down at this last and crucial moment"

"If that is the case....you just say you love me and I'll be back with what all I had - I am sure I can do excellently well....but now you seem to be more important to me...my mind is in an oscillation whether you'll be for me or not and that stops me from concentrating....."

"But Karthik....why am I so important to you......more important than your studies…."

She was skeptical about his reaction….but went ahead and completed what she wanted to ask..."is it....is it….because I am beautiful ??"

"Nonsense. Even our biology teacher is beautiful - did I go and tell her the same thing. Our class Kalpana is beautiful, did I go behind her and tell her that I loved her....you know me Shruthi, you know what I am going through….please don’t act as if you don’t"

"Believe me Shruthi...I just feel very happy when you are around, but, when I think that you'll become someone else's sometime....I don’t know, some sort of a disturbance creeps in....I become restless. It'll all be over if I know from you that you love me and you'll be mine - sometime"

"But did you think of your parents Karthik. How bad they'll feel. They believe in us, we should live up to their expectations..."

"................they'll understand Shruthi......" Karthik was now slowly staring to lose hope.

"So....what do you say...you don’t love me??"

"Come-on Karthik, I never said that. Give me one day’s time, tomorrow I'll let you know. I’ll think over again….but we need to wait Karthik...I still feel we are too young...."

Karthik got his confidence back. She hasn't decided as yet. Tomorrow she'll come up with a positive response.....he was convinced somehow….

"Thank you so much Shruthi, See you tomorrow, Take Care"

He got up and left the room...

Life goes on....contd....

2006-08-23T18:32:00.000+05:30

"Karthik, leaving so early, wait wait, have a cup of coffee...2 minutes.." her mother was very caring as she always was. He felt a bit guilty.

"That’s okay aunty, got to go and study, came in to see why Shruthi did not come to school..." He literally ran out of the house.

That night seemed to be the longest night for Karthik. Every incident that involved Shruti, big and small, played across his eyes….the school bus they shared, the games they played, the little arguments they were involved in, the competitions they fought…..and now the incidents of the past two days…..’what if she says No’….’No, she wont….she can’t say No to me’…he was pretty sure that she will accept him, that too after all that happened today.

It was a bright morning after a rainy night. It was warm. Everything around seemed fresh and so was Karthik. He was ready to school earlier than he usually is.

Shruthi also had turned up pretty early to school, and she seemed clear. They weren't able to communicate in school except for a few glances, as there were people around.

It was assembly and Karthik had only one prayer - " God, Shruthi has to accept my proposal...please...please....I've always been a good person...haven't done anything bad...so I should live a happy life...for that.......god please...you know me...and what I want.....Shruthi has to accept....she'll be happy too....please god..."

It was second hour - Biology. The moment the teacher entered the class...automatically Karthik and Shruthi looked at each other. 'She is indeed a beautiful woman, good observation...' this was what Shruthi's little smile indicate Karthik.

Karthik was now pretty relaxed....he knew what was going to come. He is going to be that lucky person and was already thanking god for accepting his prayers.

It was lunch....and students were having lunch in groups at every possible place - the cycle shed, under the tree, the class rooms, the play ground...everywhere.
And already a few students had finished lunch and were running along the corridors and a few playing in the ground.....

“I was waiting for this time, from the morning....."

"So do I, Karthik."

"Have you decided...?"

"What do you think?"

"Shruthi...please....not in a position to sustain the suspense anymore...."

"Karthik, I want you to do excellently well in the board exams....I want you to not only top the school but the whole board as you always said you will"

"I will, Shruthi. I definitely will....and....."

"I always liked you Karthik. Always."

"............................"

"Let us continue this way till we finish school. As you said, just a couple of years....and once we get through our college......."

"And after college, we'll marry - yeah??"

"Yeah.....but for that we need to do well in school and college and get a good job....that will make our parents proud...and maybe that will overshadow our decision to marry.....they'll be happy for us...."

Karthik had the moment of his life. He was a happy man.

"Thank you so much Shruthi.....you'll see the real Karthik in the upcoming exams.....and also in eleventh and twelfth...."

Shruthi stood there silently. She wasn't exactly relaxed.....

Bell rang and students ran back to classes, so did Karthik and Shruthi.

Shruthi sat there in class looking at Karthik. He was literally very happy....he turned towards her time and again and chipped in a smile. She was confident that he'll do excellently well, as promised.....

She felt a bit guilty.....but convinced herself that what she did was for good. She wanted Kathik to do well.....it was because of that, she did not tell him the fact that all she spoke to karthik today were what her mom wanted her to talk.

Her mother had noticed that Karthik had some problem and also her daughter, so she had walked into her room yesterday and slowly enquired her daughter about the problem...... and Shruthi broke down...telling her all that had happened......

"My mom also wanted to meet you folks there karthik. When did you people change the house...would love to go back to our colony and see the places where we spent all our childhood days. Man I am dying to see our school.....hey do u remember our biology mam..what's her name..yeah Shanthi mam..." she giggled....

"Yes, I do. And when you come down to chennai...we'll go to our school sometime...."

"And man, your status says you are committed...who's that lucky girl dude???"

Even Shruthi did not know that her mom had discussed all that happened with Karthik's mom who was shocked to know all that had happened. And she was upset that she did not know of all these before. She was worried that she was not able to help her son when he was in trouble. But she made it a point not to let him know that she knows about this and at the same time made all efforts to help him come out of this confused state and actually concentrate in his studies…

Karthik, as promised, did an excellent job. All he did was study and dream about their married life. It was just a week before the exams....and he was confident enough to perform well.....

The last day of the exam became the most crucial day of their lives. Every student around was happily shouting and running around to enjoy the vacation....and finally this most hyped board exam is over....students were in groups - some talking about their holiday plan...some discussing the day's question paper...some guys went behind their loved ones as they wont be meeting again for atleast a few months....it was a happening day overall, for the students....

"I am so happy Shruthi. Finally done. Paper was pretty easy....how did you do??"

"Okay da. Fine...."

"Now expecting the results...you may expect a rank-holder...." He laughed...but really meant it....he wanted to become a rank holder and also was confident about that.

"Wow Karthik, I like it man....but don’t forget us once your photo comes in paper and all...." she was actually casual...

"Don’t ever say that Shruthi...you know I wont......got to go to our native today with the family to attend a temple function......the function starts tomorrow....and will last for a week......I'll somehow try to return as soon as the function is over...generally my mom would want me stay for a month......a month is too long isn't it...."

"Oh...you are leaving today??" she seemed a little worried...

"Yeah, I have to....no other choice.....I'll miss you very much Shruthi" he was worried too....

"What are your plans for the vacation - going out somewhere??"

"Don’t know da. No plans as yet....my father is busy with his office and I don’t understand what my parents talk....some problem in my father’s office, I suppose....so I don’t know what our plans are....."

"Oh...Okay. I'll come back in a week....and see you then.....have a lot to talk...."

"Karthik, why aren't you talking anything da. Thinking of the past eh?? Good old days man...I treasure every minute of it...."

"....................."

"And you never answered my question - committed eh???"

"And oh...I forgot to tell you the important matter......so bad of my memory...was actually carried away by the fact I am actually talking to u...emotional you see" she was literally blabbering....and she knew that…

"Sure da....enjoy your festival in native.....okay??"

"Sure"

By this time, they reached Shruthi’s house.

"Bye Shruthi, Take care. Will miss you."

"Sure da. Just a week...."

When Karthik was in his native, Shruthi's father got a transfer to Singapore and had to leave early....and as Shruthi had already finished with her exams and as they had their relatives in Singapore anyway....they decided to shift to Singapore immediately...as this will be like a vacation in Singapore for Shruthi too.

Shruthi was first shocked. She was very much worried and wished she stayed here.....but she knew by this time, that this was not possible. She wanted to stay here atleast for a week till Karthik returns here....and that was more probable. Her mother understood her problem....and tried to convince her.....she knew what they had for each other was due to their age...and she also knew things would be okay soon. But Shruthi believed that she'll marry Karthik once they finish college and go to work.....still.

The week flew in no time as they had to make a lot of arrangements....the visa process was over and their tickets had arrived....they were supposed to leave the country in 2 days from now.......Karthik hadn't arrived in town as yet - Shruthi was worried. She wanted him to be back before she leaves the country.....

Karthik's grand-mom, cousins, uncles, aunties...everyone were present in his native but still his mind was searching for that one person....Shruthi...this crowded environment did give him a comfortable feeling anyway.....the whole crowd actually forced him to stay longer as it is once in a year that all of them meet...he had no other choice but to stay here for the whole month.....he was worried about his promise....also that he wont be able to see her for an other month.....

The last day in town....Shruthi had no other choice but to leave a message at his place that they have to leave to Singapore all of a sudden....she took down their address.....and was determined to write a letter once she reach Singapore.

It was nearly a month - The 10th standard CBSE results will be out in a day or two read the news paper. Karthik was nervous.....he wanted to do it....and he wanted to be in town when the results are out. He wanted Shruthi to be with him when he is declared a hero....a rank holder....Karthik and his parents started from the village......

Back in town after a month....Karthik's eyes were searching for Shruthi as soon as the auto entered the colony.....and then he looked into her house....just to see it locked. He thought to himself that she would have been disappointed that he did not return as promised, which she really did, and also she would have gone for a vacation somewhere with her family....

There were quite a few letters lying in their postbox as they returned after a month and his mom picket them up and scanned from where they were…and with them was this envelop marked ‘Air Mail’...."seems like a post from a foreign country" said his mom "Karthik, this is for you", she continued....

"For me??" he picked it from her and saw the Singapore stamp in that and immediately turned it back to see from whom it was....and once he saw her name in that, opened it in a flash to read the letter.....

Dear Karthik,

Reached Singapore 3 days back. Hope you are back in Madras. Was really worried that you hadn't made it in a week and I was expecting you. As already told in the note that I left for you, we had to leave to Singapore immediately. We are in my aunt’s place right now. I misss you very much. It seems I'll have to continue my studies here atleast for the next two years. Don’t worry, just two years, and I'll be back in Madras once the schooling is over. Miss you very much. Take care.

And the results will be coming in a few days it seems, pray for me, I'll pray for you getting a rank, I am sure you will. Miss you very much. Don’t know what else to write, will write to you once we go to our new house and give you the address. We'll talk over letters for the next two years...don’t worry.....don’t know what else to write......take care

luv,
Shruthi.S

Karthik was shaken by this letter. Before he realised, his mom handed over a piece of paper....this was here and is addressed to you....that was the note she was talking about.....

He did not believe his eyes. He did not expect anything of this sort…..he read that letter a hundred times and still it was hard for him to believe his eyes….he broke down.....and again his pillow helped him to get himself submerged......he looked out and walked towards her home just to cry again...and again....

"Karthik, I am getting married at the end of next month....will invite u, uncle and aunty in person when I am there.....make sure you are present......" She picked up guts and told this to him…she wasn’t comfortable…slowly she realised that she was crying….she was determined not to cry…but she wasn’t able to help herself…..but she managed not to show that across to the other end…

"Oh...thats a news for me. You are calling up after all these years to tell me that you are getting married....."

He had no other choice but to accept the fact.....Karthik had mixed emotions....he himself was engaged to a girl just 3 days back and was worrying through out this conversation about 'what if Shruthi comes back and says she still loves him and want to marry him' he knew it was a very rare possibility...but he thought there was a possibility....but on the other hand he was worried....for some reason...he was worried....His childhood love is getting married to someone else...the first and the only girl who had made an impact in him is getting married......at the same time he felt happy for her...

"What is your guy doing" he wanted to sound normal and he actually managed to....

"......................."

"Hey Shruthi...come-on...that’s okay....please....don’t cry now please......"

"I am sorry.....sorry..."

"He is a doctor and is practicing in Chicago...after marriage, I need to shift to Chicago..."

"Oh...that’s great"

"You know....I still have that first letter you gave me.....the first love letter...I felt like I am angel that day...."

"........hmmm....."

"But you never replied for any of my letters.....I wrote to u an elaborate letter 3 months after I reached Singapore and was expecting to hear from you....and then a couple of letters.....you never replied...."

"Actually, I wasn't feeling comfortable at all after you left...and we shifted house the very next month.....so did not get any of the letters except the first one…..I did go to the old house to check if there were any letters for me after that…but never got any…."

“Oh...really…..”

"You know...my mom did a great job in convincing me....without her, it wouldn’t have been possible....she was the one who proposed a change in house....." he continued…

"And I did as I promised.....I topped class 10. Got second rank overall.....and first in class twelve...."

"I knew you would....I knew....."

"......................................"

"............................................"

"Karthik, Make sure you make it to the marriage. I'll come to your house sometime when I am in Madras.....got to meet aunty also...even my mother is eager......And you never answered about the committed status....any secrets??"

"Oh…Nothing secret actually…I got engaged too....just 2 days back....."

"Wow....idiot...you never said that me that all this while....when is the marriage....who's the girl...what is she doing...."

Karthik told her the details......

"Nice Karthik. It feels very good, both of us getting married in the same time period…hey got to go, my roomie is yelling, she is waiting for me…...keep in touch...see you in person....."

"Sure Shruthi. Nice of you to call me. Hail Internet" He smiled..

She smiled too....

Karthik glanced at the clock putting down his phone....it read 7.40....

'Oops its time....' he got up quickly and ran towards his bathroom for picking up his tooth-brush.....he saw his face in the mirror and he looked fresh....

”mom, have u switched on the water heater…its getting late for me….”

Life goes on.........

The Get-together.....

2006-08-21T09:31:00.000+05:30

I am always a bit inclined towards school-life - maybe because I had a great school-life, both in Kalakshetra as well as Anna Gem. The two schools were completely different and i was lucky enough to be part of both the schools!

And why suddenly about the schools and school life - again??? Its because, I met a few people from Anna Gem in the form of get-together a couple of days back, and we had a GREAT time! We had a wonderful time there....actually getting to know each other :)

Emotions generally subside when in groups and exactly that had happened that day - no one was actually emotional - the ultimate aim was enjoyment, we enjoyed the moment and were happy that the plan had clicked! We joked along....recalled a few funny moments from school....and it was normal. Nothing was very special about it except for the people who were part of it...and I am sure that night when everything was over and when people went to bed,
thinking of what all had happened...and who all they met....the emotions would have taken over......the nostalgia would have creeped in....I dont know about the others, but it happened for me......I was taken back in time....It felt great...I wanted to run back to school......

A group of slightly grown up people re-living those good old school days was fantastic! An architect, business man, lecturer, director, sub-editor of a news paper and many other professionals.......getting along and laughing like hell for those silly lil school jokes....that was it.....that was this meeting all about, bringing back the kid in you, without much of masking......I found it very special because I did not have a compulsion to present myself....I mean, the people there knew me as a school-kid..that only means they knew the REAL me....yes, I have changed....but the basic still remains the same and that will remain the same - forever - for everyone!

The thoughts of the fare-well party, the school principal, the teachers, the labs...those rainy days when school was declared holiday...the cycle rides and more importantly - those funny discussions we had as if we knew everything...those arguements........the way the guys (who were part of the meeting) looked and behaved during school time especially with the uniform.....those lil fights....those funny jokes...the lunch breaks....the school corridor.....the competition between different teams (houses).....wow.........I re-lived the moments.....had wonderful time thinking of them.....it wasn't intentional...but I wasn't able to help it.....the aim of the g2g was fulfilled!

A few things have to be experienced and felt to be understood. My state of mind now is the same - experience and feel - and you'll feel the happiness.....the heart pounding and you longing for those days to come back again......and if you are reading this on a monday morning and if you are in a far away distance from home and friends..................................................do I need to say anything.......

And now take a look at the stills below........have a nice time!

A few snaps from my recent trip...

2006-08-15T22:45:00.000+05:30

untitled

2006-08-01T21:14:00.000+05:30

beauty...

2006-08-01T20:59:00.000+05:30

Everything has Beauty...but not everyone sees it!

.....

2006-07-27T01:53:00.000+05:30

Kaatrum per Isaiyum....
Mazhai paadum paadalgalum...
Oru Mounam pol Inbam tharumo???

Kodi Keertanayum...
Kavi kortha Vaarthaigalum....
Thuli Kanneer pol Artham tharumo???

Roman Holiday.....

2006-07-27T01:25:00.000+05:30

WOW What a movie that was!!! I just loved it......just loved everything about it...everything... may also be because I am in the mood to.....but this movie was really a very exciting experience.....the plot, the subtle comedy, the emotions, the romance, the CLIMAX, Gregory peck...and ofcourse Audrey Hepburn.....yes you are right, I am talking about ROMAN HOLIDAY!!

Only few movies make you really feel good and have an impact on you for a long time! Roman Holiday is one such a movie for me....I just dont know why, but I seem to love the movie...

William Wyler (Direction) - the same man who later in his career made Ben Hur - Unbeleivable!!! What a contrast - aren't these two movies enough to showcase this man's versatility!!! Just Great! Gregory Peck (who has a lot of movies to his credit including Mackenna's Gold, To kill a mocking bird etc) has done his job perfectly well as a news reporter trying to get a scoop out of the princess' secret life and later deciding against it! And the one who steal the show is Audrey Hepburn...the Title card shows INTRODUCING Audrey....I still dont beleive my eyes! Excellent performance...and a great scope for performance actually!! A slight over-acting in the part of either of the lead actors would have spoilt the show!!! The screen-play is crisp and the subtle comedy keeps the movie going! Even small characters like the Taxi-Driver, the Barber and the house owner stand in your mind for a longer period!

The climax is so real....a perfect ending...it keeps you thinking....cherishing the happy 24 hours and the life each individual will have from here on....the impact just a single day can give....yes a fairy tale but a fair fairy tale, I would say!

A very simple.....romantic comedy has kept me happy and thinking (and a lot of other people as well and thats why its still standing the test of time)....I am very happy, I chose to see this movie tonight!!! When u get a chance and if u like light movies....do watch this movie - you wont regret it, infact you'll feel happy for your decision!!!

aahh I see some pattern in this.....donno how interesting this is for u!!!

2006-07-16T19:28:00.000+05:30

Do I need to name this??

2006-07-16T19:21:00.000+05:30

Made this image when I was in my native last November! Sunrise is something that fascinates me....always! Such a spectacular sight is almost always daily available for us to enjoy...but we dont seem to pay attention.....and again I say to myself....life is nothing but a collection of a million moments....and living the moment is what matters!!!!

Anachronism???

2006-07-16T19:18:00.000+05:30

Doesn't the car in the pic look out of time?

Just before it started pouring down as rain.....

2006-07-16T16:33:00.000+05:30

Welcome to our life....

2006-07-15T18:16:00.000+05:30

Welcome to our life.....this is where we live....happily!!

........

2006-07-14T23:36:00.000+05:30

negligible...

2006-07-13T21:22:00.000+05:30

Disturbing....

2006-07-13T10:37:00.000+05:30

hmmm first attempt....at fruits!

2006-07-10T16:32:00.000+05:30

I was working.....and a moments break....

2006-07-09T21:02:00.000+05:30

My work table... :)

can someone take a good look and list the items in the table! I am sure...if you take it up, you will have a tough time - will be interesting but!!!

All alone....

2006-07-09T02:45:00.000+05:30

I wish kids stay kids.....forever!!!

2006-07-06T21:05:00.000+05:30

Ever wondered what this was....

2006-07-06T12:08:00.000+05:30

Time to SLEEP !!!

2006-07-01T11:51:00.000+05:30

Life is beautiful dude..

2006-07-01T11:47:00.000+05:30

Romance is sweet in books, movies and photos :)

2006-07-01T11:43:00.000+05:30

'Music is Life' - young kid trying his hands on various musical instruments!

2006-06-30T16:19:00.000+05:30

Obsessed....

2006-06-30T14:46:00.000+05:30

Obsessed with the medium called Photography.....and instances like these re-iterate the fact! Wanted to take a look at yesterday's markets and before I did that happened to make this photograph....and I never read the paper today morning!!

Symmetry

2006-06-29T22:33:00.000+05:30

The mobile gift shop - Festival Special!

2006-06-29T16:42:00.000+05:30

Nature's offering....

2006-06-29T16:08:00.000+05:30

Abandoned....

2006-06-29T15:59:00.000+05:30

my first experiment with selective desaturation!

u know who's behind the lens - don't u?

2006-06-17T20:59:00.000+05:30

:)

2006-06-17T20:52:00.000+05:30

felt like I was caught in a maze.....

2006-06-17T16:55:00.000+05:30

Donno what made me post this image...nothing very special abt it except for the great work by the sculptor.....but I liked something abt this image.....something that I am unable to express.....felt as if I was caught in a maze.....perplexed.....do u find something in this image, that makes u see it again - or is it only me??

PS. The upper portion of the image is in focus and the bottom portion is not!

Just another post to keep things going!

2006-06-16T21:19:00.000+05:30

So much to write - so little time and the mood to support! Actually wanted to write about quite a few things for the whole of last week and then even this week, but did not manage to make it!

Anyway - the hottest news is that Argentina is rocking!!! Argentina just beat Serbia - Montenegro by 6 goals to Nil! Foot-Ball world cup has become the most popular topic of the week and will continue to be the HOT topic till the 9th of July!

Personally, I haven't watched much of foot-ball (have given up Cricket too quite a few years back), but events like world-cup are always special - aren't they! And with the media hype (am not sure if Hype i the right word though) and the scenes and news of fans of different countries supporting their respective nations in the host country.....this looks more like a festival which the whole world is watching closely! And ofcourse a lot of money is involved too - so the business class is also watching the event quite closely! So all these and my own interest have coupled and I am following the matches, quite closely too, I should say! Not the mid-night matches, unless it is a very special one - nowadays, I dont prefer burning my mid-night oil.... :)

The other news from my side is that, I had an opportunity to meet Mr. Madan, the famous cartoonist from Chennai! It was purely accidental and the ten minutes I spent with him was pretty good, I should say! He justified his image of a 'simple, down to earth' man! With my lil knowledge on Cartoons, I did not even open my mouth regarding cartoons....I know Madan as a person with a good knowledge on a vareity of subjects! Also, Vandhargal Vendrargal, a book on History written by him is one of my favourites...so did discuss about that book with him for sometime and ofcourse spoke to him a bit about my interest in Movies and their league -
Madan himself / Sujatha / kamal / Maniratnam! He was inquiring about, what I was doing and which place I actually belonged to n all, so nice of him that he did respect me for what I am and was very encouraging!

And what else did I want to write....yeah, have drastically reduced my time online! Somehow I felt, I was spending quite a lot of time online and wanted to reduce it - as a trial run and yes, I was able to do that - quite sucessfully!

Did not make any new photos in the past week.....have quite a bit of old images and I'll need to find the time to post them here! Oooohhhh wanted to write of so many things...and I am not able to find anything in particular to write now :(

Okay - Will update as and when I find something more to write - hope to write quite a bit in the week-end......did think about a lot of things, so will have to just sit down, re-iterate and type them here. Will do that soon!

Thanks for being here and have a Great time ahead. Cheers!

The other side!

2006-06-11T10:42:00.000+05:30

The other side of the door, through a small piece of glass.....

Just b4 eating...had my cam!

2006-06-04T15:22:00.000+05:30

Happy Birthday!!!

2006-06-02T15:20:00.000+05:30

June 2 - Two legends of Tamil Cinema celebrate their birthday, lets take this opportunity to wish them a very happy birthday!!

Happy Birthday dear Maniratnam and Ilayaraja!!

when sun goes down we wake up!

2006-06-02T14:58:00.000+05:30

....just managed to catch the final moments b4 the sun disappeared today!!

2006-06-01T21:33:00.000+05:30

just a slice of my mind....

2006-06-01T12:54:00.000+05:30

Have always wondered what inspires me to make photographs! I seriously haven't got an answer as yet!

But, I have always loved making photographs - whatever be the subject! Its some sort of an obsession with the medium, I guess! It all started when I wanted a camera for my school trip (to gingee fort) when I was in class 9! But I did not have one then.....but I did manage to get my friends camera and shoot a few images...all silly images ofcourse! But then, though the images were silly....I seemed to love the output and that made me ask my parents for a new camera....and I did get one later in the year. That was my first camera - Yashika, Point and Shoot!!

And as I had no one around who could teach me how to make photographs (my father had not much interest in photography) or should I say, as I did not mind asking anybody for help on how to make better images....just started clicking! This new art was quite costly....but I somehow managed! And I dont think anything big happened after I got my cam....I did not go behind everything clicking....infact I even left it sleep in my godrej almarah for months together, I guess!

In the mean time, I had developed a special interest for movies and Maniratnam was my hero! I still remember pestering my friends with my stupid stories and ideas......IRUVAR made a very big impact in me.....but beleive me, I dont know what in that movie impressed me at that age - but till date Iruvar is my favourite tamil movie! And this interest in Cinema and Photography clubbed at some stage....and by then I was in a new school for my class eleven! It was there, I guess, things shaped up! The environment was new...all the people around me were new....so what they saw in me was also new! Whenever they (whoever) asked abt my interest, I proudly announced 'Photography' and they saw me as a photographer too.......this change in perception probably made me beleive that I was a better photographer...and the obsession with my camera was back!

At that age in my school, i met Tamil Dasan....a guy with similar interests as me....and our chemistry worked.....we talked a lot of cinema......I remember talking of Santosh Sivan once, when were in class twelve......no one around us knew who he was.....we explained...and in the process learnt a bit more! When I look back.....I understand, we knew nothing then....but still we were high on spirits! We talked a lot.....a lot...and on vareity of topics.....basically centered around cinema...and photography was the very next thing! Actually, we did not see photography and Cinema as two different entities......It was then that we picked up a camera and started making photos....he was more with the stories and stuff...and I called myself a photographer (who'll eventually turn into a director - like Balu Mahendra..Santosh Sivan.. :))....and was with the cam most of the time! And this was the time, Ashwin joined us (in the grp, i mean) and Director Balu (Kalamellam Kadal Vazhga) was his tenant then.....and yet another opportunity....we flocked to RA puram whenever we got an opportunity and we generally were there in Balu's place - Dreaming! And towards the end of our class twelve.....we were carried away to the max! We wanted to be film-makers...wanted to join film institute....Vis comm was also an option...and it was during this holidays that I had started making images and was feeling that I was doing something seriously! We had travelled to Pondy / Poompuhar / Chidambaram / Kundrakudi / Pillayarpatti......and managed to make a few photos that I
like even today....I was happy making photos!!!!!

Then came the college days....all 3 of us joined Engineering and in different colleges! The first year went on without much of activities.....but from the 3rd sem....things started changing! It was the time Alaipayuthe released and that pulled us towards cinema again.....and then came Heyram...I should say, after Iruvar it was Heyram, that impacted me to the maximum! Myself and my friends used to watch every interview that Kamal gave on Heyram....what ever channel may it be in! To be true, it was Kamal Hassan who introduced foreign films to us (myself and my friends) ! I remember once, Ashwin was sitting in front of the tv with a pen and a paper and taking down the names of films and film-makers that Kamal mentioned.....we did not understand clearly about what Mr. Kamal Hassan was talking then....but then, we managed to pick up the movies that he mentioned (we had to search a lot for them then) and watch them.....we liked them too...most of them, if not all.....I dont think we liked them just because Kamal mentioned.....!! By this time, we were almost full-time into photography and film-making....We had friends from the Film Instituteand that again gave us an opportunity to talk about cinema and to know where we stand in terms of knowledge from the people who have chosen their career as cinema! Beleive me - they respected us for our knowledge and interest in cinema! And they told us what their books and teachers thought them - The first step for cinematography is Still Photography! This was what Mr Balu had once told us when we met him just after school.....and it was only through photographs that we were able to see the results....I mean, we thought of a lot of stories n all....but then they were not concrete...i mean...we think of
something today and forget it in a few days....but this was not the case with photographs....we had them printed and they represented our thoughts!!! So I always kept photography close to my heart!!!

But now why am I telling you the whole story.....where did it all start....oh yeah....on not knowing what inspires me to make photographs!!!

The whole thought on this started now coz, I was wondering today of what good photography is! I dont understand rules that a photographer keeps in mind when making an image - I would never do that.....not that I cant understand rules, but I just cant imagine following rules to make a photo! I make a photograph coz I like doing that! For me...the happiness and satisfaction at the moment of making a photo is as important as the output itself ! I see photography more as an art than a science! For me - I need to like the image and only then I think of others! Yes - I do like appreciation from friends and others, I am happy when people say they like my photographs.....but all this only after my satisfaction with the image - that is more important for me!!!

And that is part of what I was thinking today! How do people (read co photographers/critiques) judge a photograph to be good or bad! People talk of the space in the left side...right side.....the rule of thirds (which has a scientific value attached to it - I was amazed to read what was behind this rule......but still....). With more and more exposure to discussions regarding the techniques of photography...criticisms...appreciations....(thanks to Internet)....I am starting to see myself travelling in a different direction from that of the crowd! That is the crux of the thought, that was running in my mind today! Nevermind really.....I wasn't much concerned about this....but was just thinking.....I guess, I can never be a commercial photographer.......there are cases where a photograph is claimed to be a master-piece and people (who I respect for their interest in photography) appreciate it to the core...but I dont find the image much interesting - just because there is no subject associated with the image nor the beauty....but a plain technique! I dont like images for the technique involved but for the simplicity....and I see (with the invent of post-production using computer softwares and all) that the inclination or the importance that should be given to simplicity is being missed....I am not complaining....but this is just my observation - i repeat, MY observation - when I take a close look at the discussions in various forums....websites...etc!

my thought on this to be continued....in the later posts!

Thanks for the time! Cheers!

head lights galore....

2006-05-28T12:30:00.000+05:30

It was drizzling...there were droplets in the wind-shield....and I was inside the car...

Petty shops....Festival spl !!

2006-05-28T12:10:00.000+05:30

on duty!

2006-05-28T12:07:00.000+05:30

just like that....

2006-05-26T18:27:00.000+05:30

before and after work!

2006-05-26T18:04:00.000+05:30

Work in progress....

After completion...in working condition...

a slice of daily life.....

2006-05-26T17:46:00.000+05:30

Everyone has a reason to pray!!

2006-05-26T13:51:00.000+05:30

This image was made in the first week of may, when I was in my native village for a function there - The Chithirai Ther Thiruvizha! ('Chittirai' being a Tamil month and 'Ther' means Chariot - will write about the whole festival soon!).

Guess, I have fallen in love with people images and I find them very real and interesting. Should I say - a common man is the best model and that too shot without him knowing he is being captured!

Back after a break!

2006-05-25T20:48:00.000+05:30

aaahhhh I am back here and it feels very good to be back!

Yes....I have tons to write....but first I wanted to get going......so what else other than photographs! To be frank I started to write quite a few times but did not manage to finish and post! Was pretty distracted....I should say! So decided to post a few images first...yes, I know, you would have seen them already, if you had visited my flickr page...but no harm in seeing them again - what say?!

So now that there is something fresh in this space...look for more.....I am in the mood to write......but not now...maybe tommorow or the day after....oh...yes its the week-end...so probably in the week-end, I would be able to articulate my point-of-view on a few topics here......so do drop in....!!!

Okay.....enough of this now....have a GREAT day!!!

Tasting his own tea!!

2006-05-25T20:37:00.000+05:30

:)

2006-05-25T20:32:00.000+05:30

The face of India!

2006-05-25T20:13:00.000+05:30

The real face of India!

I guess, we need to work hard, as a nation, to make these kids go to school and get proper basic education! This is the need of the hour.....and I am sure, they aren't aware of the Reservation issue!!!

Disclaimer: I am NOT 'for' or 'against' reservation! But the way it is implemented here, doesn't seem to help the people it really has to - This is purely my opinion, you have the right to differ, Thanks!

....

2006-05-25T19:51:00.000+05:30

.....

2006-05-25T19:47:00.000+05:30

light from the monitor.....

2006-05-25T19:42:00.000+05:30